Dating in School: Yes or No?

Having a relationship in school has always been a controversial topic of discussion anytime it comes up. Some are of the opinion that it may serve as a source of distraction to students while some see it as a training for what is to come in the world after school. What are the views of students of Moshood Abiola Polytechnic towards dating in school? Jeffrey Ikolo and Opeyemi Peter report.

If you were to be someone like Oyindamola Falola, then the moment you hear the word “dating” and you are in school, you should flee!

Falola who is ND 2 in the department of Civil Engineering said, when these reporters met her to get her view on the topic, that relationship while in school is another word for destruction and distraction.

Schooling, obviously, comes with its overarching objective of academic excellence. But reality cannot be denied that these young adults who are in school most times get caught in the decision web of going or not into a relationship while they pursue what did bring them to school in the first place.

Like the society would say, “you be guy”, “you be babe”, “no be water dey flow for your body” and so on. History has been fair and unfair to this topic with some having good tales to tell and some having sorrowful tales to moan.

Age and Maturity Parameter

Adetubo Rasheedat Oluwatosin believed that age is a fundamental determinant of whether or not to go into a relationship while in school.

Rasheedat who is from the department of Pharmaceutical Technology added that although there are different reasons people date, but for her; only a relationship leading to marriage should be engaged in while in school, with maturity not toss aside.

She said, “Actually it depends on age. If someone is old enough and very mature enough, the person would know that he or she is ready to date. And there are ways in dating, if a dating would lead to marriage, it is another case. Dating leading to marriage, I think definitely is a Yes because actually you can meet your partner anywhere. Anyone can meet their soulmate in school and they can date each other.”

She added, “Dating in school is still much better, yes! Depending on how mature the person is.”

On this table of maturity and age, Anumuyika Ayomide from the department of Mass Communication also opined that dating in school boils down to the maturity of one to handle the consequences that come with dating.

Ayomide highlighted jealousy, mental toughness and emotional balance, while stating that if one cannot handle such accompanied dating consequences, then one should not even think of dating in school.

“Dating in school depends on you: your maturity to handle the consequences and side effects of dating, your ability to comprehend the consequences of dating in school. Because when you are dating in school, you would have to take your mind off some stuff. You would be jealous because the person you are dating in your school or in your class, probably other guys might also love to be with the girl or move closer to her. And when you are seeing that as a guy, such will create some jealousy in you which you won’t want to show and which might be killing you inside.

“So if you know you can’t handle dating in school, then don’t do it. But if you feel that you can do it or control your emotions, then it is fine, you are good to,” he said.

The Outright “Yes” Guys

For ThankGod, he would most likely thank God if he sees a girl that is not materialistic and frivolous.

To him, dating in school is not bad as dating goes beyond having sex or fun.

“To me, I’ll actually say yes. Though everyone sees things from different perspectives. But to me, I’ll actually say yes. Because dating is not all about having fun, having sex. The real thing there is finding someone that can connect you to the right source. If the girl is about material things, all about going out, it’s a no for me,” the ND2 Mass Communication student said.

Like some have over time argued that dating in school is an opportunity to be close to one’s partner in order to know them more in preparation for marriage, this school of thought appeared to be one Daniel Joseph schooled from as to him dating in school is cool as it offers him time to know his “babe” more.

He said that aside that he also has a friend who once dated in school and today, he is married to the same person he dated while in school.

“I’d say it is a yes for me. Having to spend quality time to know each other more. I have a friend. They actually met in their 100L in school, and of recent they just got married. It is something of over five or six years, they actually dated. So, I think it is actually cool to date in school. You’d have a long way to know your partner properly,” he explained.

Ogunsola Bolaji also joined in the conversation, “If you are dating in school, it makes you and your partner closer. Because communication matters a lot. You might be communicating for a month, three months, a year without seeing each other and yet cheat. Even if your partner is not in the same school but around the area, for instance; if you are schooling in Ogun State and your boyfriend is at Ibadan, he will cheat on you, there is no how. So it is better dating someone closer.”

Why No?

You will recall how Falola described dating as destructive and distractive at the start of this report, as such, to her, dating is a no-no!

For Gift Ezugwu, Science Laboratory Technology ND2, she can’t date in school because of the burden of wanting to please the other person, the feeling of insecurities and the limitation of freedom.

If you were to quiz Sharon Meshach of Mass Communication, ND1, she will most likely voice out like she did to these reporters that, “Dating in school is a big no for me. I won’t and will not advise anyone to date in school. Dating in school is just nonsense. It is rubbish.”

Where do we, then, draw the line?

Certified Relationship expert, Michael Jacob pitched his tent as practically yes and potentially no.

He affirmed that there is no official or generally acceptable place to date or not to date.

He said, “There have been reports of people who started their love life on campus and ended up getting married. We have however heard cases where dating hampered a lot of educational pursuits.”

Jacob drew the line by advising students to know that relationship will tax them of a lot, reiterating that anyone who is not mature enough should not date.

“My advice is that students should know that relationship demands for time, money and maturity, vis-à-vis side-dramas that love brings. Dramas such as cheating, heartbreaks and distractions.

“Anyone who is not emotionally mature to handle the complexities of another being, lady or guy, shouldn’t date. Anyone who can’t manage his or her time well especially considering the fact that academics is time consuming should not date.

Quite symbolic of a popular line by a hip-hop artiste, Davido in one his songs where he said that with money, love is sweeter, Jacob stressed that a student, whether a guy or a lady, who does not have the financial capacity for a relationship should never think of dating.

“It does not matter if you are the boy or the girl, if you are getting into a relationship because of money or you don’t have money; then, by all means, get your priorities straightened out before you date,” he closed.